Of Gay Snake Dudes and Mansex
by fallsoffstages
Summary: Naruto KH Xover. Orochimaru and Xemnas have teamed up to create the ultimate duo. Action, romance and humor ensue as two girls fall into their world to defeat them. ::R&R:: ::OCs:: ::RoxasOC, SasuOC:: ::T for language:: ::HIATUS, DON'T KILL ME::
1. Teleported and Beaten Up

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or KH.

Reason for making a crossover? Oh, just decided to pool some of my ideas. You know, while thinking about Pranks, Sarcastic Comments and Love.

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"OMGCRYSTALIGOTKHII!" I screamed. Crystal, my friend, woke up, rubbing her eyes.

"Geez, Rin, you just had to scream in my ear, didn't you?" said Crystal.

I was normally the calm one, but still. Sarcasm and insults were not above me. I knew how to deal with jerks.

Crystal was the naïve one. She had most of her common sense, although sometimes she couldn't put two and two together. (A/N: Like shaking a hand that comes out of the toilet.)

"COMEONLET'SPLAY!" I yelled.

"Fine, fine…" groaned Crystal. I shoved the game cartridge into the PS2 in my room.

Crystal had slept over last night. We had stayed up to finish playing KH:CoM.

_A scattered dream that's like a far off memory…_

_A far off memory that's like a scattered dream…_

_I want to line the pieces up…_

_Yours and mine._

"Yeah! It's starting!" I said.

"Whatever," said Crystal. She pulled on her sweatshirt that said "Uchiha Sasuke Is Mine. Not Yours. MINE!" on the back and turned on the TV.

"Woohoo! Shippuden episode one!"

The opening of KHII was playing now.

"_My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah…"_

"SQUEE, SASUKE-KUN IS SO HOT!"

"Crystal?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you please shut up?"

"Fine." Crystal stuck out her tongue and returned her attention back to the TV.

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Two hours later, I had beaten Twilight Town (I knew how to play, since I had watched all of the parts of KHII on YouTube) and Crystal was on a Naruto Shippuden marathon.

Suddenly, the room was plunged into darkness.

"OMGWTFROFLBBQ!" I yelled. Then I fell and landed on a hard surface. It was still pitch black. I took a step forward…

And birds flew upwards.

"AHHMYGAWD!" I yelled yet again. I was now standing on what seemed to be a huge glass plate. Sora and Roxas were painted there, lying opposite of one another, Roxas in his Organization outfit and Sora in his new KHII outfit. Sora's friends and the Organization were painted between them.

_Welcome._

"Oy! WTF?!"

_Choose from the sword, the shield, or the ramen._

"WTF? Ramen?"

…_Just choose, for goodness' sakes._

"The sword."

_You have chosen the sword._

"I _know_ that."

_Pick your partner._

"Crystal, no duh."

_Here is your partner. _

"Rin? Is that you?"

"Crystal?"

"HIII RIN!"

A bright light shone, showing that they were standing on a mirror.

"Wow. You've changed, Rin."

"WHAAT?" I looked down. I was wearing a black short-sleeved hoodie with "XIV" embroidered in the corner and black cargo shorts. I wore black gloves, black boots that went up to my knees and a white sash around my waist. A sword was slung across my back. A black visor was slanted on my head. My now jet-black hair was up in a ponytail, held with chopsticks. Hair also hung around my face. (A/N: For those of you who read PSCL: Sound familiar?)

Crystal, on the other hand, was wearing a white shirt inside a blue sweatshirt. She had dark blue cargo pants and was carrying a staff. Her dark hair had now turned brown and it was up in a high ponytail.

"HOLY EFFING CRAP!"

_You will now be transported to Twilight Town. You will be separated._

"Ok."

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I opened one eye, then the other. I was on the ground. I sat up, rubbing my head.

"Oy, shorty. What are you doing in my town?"

Now, I was a bit short for my age. I was only five foot one, but Crystal was five foot three. Not much of a difference, but big enough for many people to call me short.

"Shut up," I said.

"Excuse me?"

"I just told you to shut up. Are you deaf?"

Seifer picked me up by the neck.

"Rai, disciplinary measures must be taken."

"Ok, y'know!"

Rai's fist flew towards me. I was not a stranger to being caught in the middle of a fight, so I blocked Rai's punch with my foot and punched Seifer in the nose.

"What are you doing? You deserve to be exterminated for this," said Seifer angrily.

"Try it."

"Rai."

"Seifer, I'll get her, y'know!"

Rai came at me again. This time, I was knocked off balance as Rai's fist slammed into my stomach. I coughed up blood and landed on the ground.

"Seifer, _what _are you doing?"

Seifer's gang looked up.

"What does it look like? We're exterminating an outsider. Besides, what's it to you, blondie?"

Someone picked me up, and then I was looking at a pair of the bluest eyes I had ever seen.

"Roxas?"

"How do you know my name?"

"Well, you know you're in a video game, right?"

"Err…"

"Um, well, never mind…"

"Hey! Sora, Riku! She's conscious!"

I turned my head.

"Yo," said a silver haired boy. He grinned at me. "Rai beat you up?"

"Yeah."

"Riku, Roxas! Dudes, I'm here!" A spiky haired brunette, also with bright blue eyes, who was obviously Sora, jogged up to us.

"Hey, you're late, Sora."

"Yeah, well, I was trying to stop this girl from walking into a portal. She said she was looking for her friend Rin."

"That's me," I said. I coughed up more blood and held my stomach.

"Well, you can't go after her now," said Roxas in a worried tone.

"Then what do I do? Where does that portal lead to?"

"It goes to a ninja village. I think it's called Konohagakure," explained Riku.

"She should be fine, then. She loves Naruto. I pity Sasuke, though. Crystal's a major Sasuke fangirl."

"Then we should bring you to Hollow Bastion, so that Aerith can heal you."

"I can't! What if I can't find Crystal?"

"You should be able to find her if she's that obsessed with Konoha."

"I'm not going to Konoha, then."

"Fine, then. We'll just wait until you stop coughing, then we'll go to Hollow Bastion. You should meet the Restoration Committee, anyway." Roxas deposited me onto the ground and sat down next to me with Riku and Sora.

"Where are you from?" asked Riku.

"From another world." I coughed some more, and blood spattered onto the ground. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying not to let the pain consume me.

Sora wrinkled his forehead. "Your cough should be gone now. That's weird."

Riku nodded in agreement. "Let's go to Hollow Bastion now. We have to check where you got hit first."

"Fine." I rolled up my shirt to where I had gotten hit. "HOLY SHIT!"

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_Twenty minutes before…_

Crystal was up and walking around. "Man, this town is weird," she thought as she saw some people with blue foam bats fight each other. She turned into a dark alley, wondering if Rin had walked into it. She saw what seemed to be a dark portal. "Maybe she went through here," thought Crystal. She walked forward, about to step into the portal.

"Stop!"

Crystal turned around.

A spiky-haired brunette boy was standing behind her.

"Why? I'm looking for my friend, Rin."

"That portal goes to another world. What if Rin's still here?"

"Well, you never know." Crystal walked into the portal.

"No! Don't-"

_Whoosh._ A cool wind blew Crystal's hair back. Then she was standing in a village. Next to a very familiar ramen shop.

"OMG I'M IN KONOHA!" screamed Crystal. Various people around her stared as the happy girl skipped into Ichiraku's.

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A small shard of metal, about two centimeters long, protruded from my stomach.

"OMGWTFROFLOMFGBBQ," said Sora in a serious tone. (A/N: I love saying that. Sorry if it gets annoying.)

"We had better take that out right away," said Riku.

"No problem." Gritting my teeth, I tugged the metal out of my stomach. Blood oozed from the hole. I put one hand over it to stop it from bleeding.

"Where's the gummi ship?"

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So, first crossover chapter DONE! Tell me if someone's Mary-Sue-ish and I'll change it as soon as I can. Plus I need reviews for PSCL.

To get a free sitar that looks just like Demyx's or a free coupon to Ichiraku's, click the purplish button below and submit a review.

ABR, over and out.

-Rin


	2. The Oh So Idiotic Mary Sue

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or KH.

Am writing this manuscript on a plane to San Francisco. From there, we'll go to Taiwan. My best friend is sitting next to me, and I'm listening to Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston on the radio. You know, you can plug headphones into your armrest and switch radio channels. Don't want to use my iPod until the 13 hour flight to Taiwan. Eurgh. Thanks for reviewing and faving/alerting.

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Riku was controlling the gummi ship. Sora was chatting with Donald and Goofy. Roxas ripped a strip of cloth from his Organization XIII coat to dress my injury with. He tied the strip tight around my stomach.

"There."

"Thanks."

"HEARTLESS IN THE COCKPIT!" came Riku's yell. Sora grabbed his Keyblade and ran.

"Oh crap," muttered Roxas. He summoned Oathkeeper and Oblivion.

"I'm coming." I got up and pulled out my sword.

"You can't fight."

"Yes I can."

"Fine." Roxas grabbed my arm and ran.

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When we reached the cockpit, it was chaos. Riku was viciously slashing Heartless on the dashboard. Sora covered his back, but he was struggling against the mob of black creatures.

"Hey guys, just in time," gasped Sora. I slashed at a Heartless. It disappeared in a puff of smoke. Roxas was handling the mob pretty well, so I jumped into the center of a circle of Heartless. My stomach throbbed with pain, but I just gritted my teeth.

"Take it easy," Roxas said into my ear. I nodded and continued destroying Heartless. Suddenly, a particularly large Heartless jumped on me.

"AAAGH!!!!" It jumped on my stomach, as if it knew I hurt there. Then it went up in a puff of smoke. I coughed and saw a pair of bright blue eyes framed with spiked blond hair.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I sat up. A white scroll rolled off of me. Sora picked it up. He unrolled it. Riku looked over him shoulder. Sora's face darkened. Roxas grabbed the paper and read it.

"Oh, you're kidding me…" he groaned.

"What?"

"Here." Roxas handed me the letter.

_Dear Orochimaru,_

_It has come to my attention that you are trying to achieve something major like me, but some dork always gets in the way (also like me). _

_What if we team up? _

_Sincerely,_

_Xemnas_

_P.S.-Meet me in Hollow Bastion if you would like to team up in three days._

I LAUGHED.

"So predictable! The gay snake dude and Mansex teamed up!"

The others looked at me as if I were crazy.

"What?"

Roxas suddenly burst out laughing.

Sora smiled.

"It's perfect. We're going to Hollow Bastion," said Riku. "I'll go get your friend and any other friends she might have made."

"Ok. You might want to bring something to let her know it's actually me, though," I replied. I dug into my pockets and came up with my iPod.

"All right, Riku. I trust you with this. _DO NOT DROP IT AND PROTECT IT WITH YOUR LIFE_. She'll recognize it," I told him.

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We landed in Hollow Bastion, minus Riku, whom we had dropped off in Konoha. I had fallen asleep in the gummi ship. When I woke up, Sora was knocking on the Restoration Committee's door.

"Hey sleepyhead," Roxas grinned. He was carrying me. I rubbed my eyes and blushed. He put me down.

Aeris opened the door.

"Hello!"

"Hey Aeris!"

"ROXIE-KUN!"

Roxas groaned as a girl with blond hair and blue eyes (_NOT _Naminé) flung herself on him.

I raised an eyebrow.

The girl got off and noticed me.

"Eww! Who's _that_, Roxie-kun?"

A vein twitched in my forehead.

"What did you do, look in the mirror?" I retorted.

"Hey! You're ugly! Right, Roxie-kun?"

I turned to Roxas.

"Who is this freak?" I asked.

"Who are you calling a freak, you –''

"Break it up," said Sora, pushing us apart. I glared at the girl and turned to Roxas.

"So, what's her name?"

"Mary-Sue."

I groaned.

"Crap. I know a Mary-Sue. She's a wimp. She's gonna get in the way of things if she doesn't unglue herself from you. Oh yeah, the one I know hates me. Dude, how the _hell_ did _she _get here?!"

Roxas shrugged.

Mary-Sue gave me a look. I glared, and she hid behind Sora, who kicked her. (A/N: OOC . .) I laughed.

"Come in," said Aeris. "Where's Riku?"

"Right here." Riku had just appeared behind us with Crystal, a blond boy in an orange jumpsuit, a black-haired dude with awesome chicken-butt hair, a pink-haired girl and a blond girl who were fighting, two people with white eyes, the Sand Siblings, the well-known lazy-ass genius, Choji, Tenten, and the rest of the gang from Konoha.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuude," I addressed Crystal. "You actually convinced them all to come?"

"Yeppers!"

"Wow."

Aeris smiled kindly and yelled up the stairs. "CID YOU BETTER NOT SWEAR, WE GOT A TON OF GUESTS!"

I walked in and then winced in pain. Roxas looked over.

"We'll get you to a room, okay?"

I nodded and watched as Roxas asked Aeris to bring them upstairs so I could get healed.

"LEON, CLOUD, YUFFIE, GET THE REST SETTLED IN ROOMS!" she yelled up the stairs. Then she nodded at Roxas and me to follow her up.

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Chappie 2. Man, that took a long time for me to update.

Review?

You get a free Cloud wig or a free Sasuke wig OR a free Organization cloak if you do.

-ABR.


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